Bob's Blah Blah Blog

So if my aging memory serves me, it was 23 years ago today Sandy and I celebrated our first Valentine’s Day together. We had only been dating a couple of weeks, so of course we planned the most romantic evening possible.

I made dinner for her at my apartment, lamb to be exact. Then, all dressed up, we headed out to see Sam Kinison. You read that right, Sam Kinison on our first big date. What were we thinking, right?

Let’s just say, I guess we were made for each other, because 23 years later, we look at this clip and fall in love all over again. I hear ya saying, “that just aint right,” and for most, it would have been a whole lotta wrong. But something happened that night keeps happening over and over, no matter sort of “that just aint right” we stumble into now and again. We fell in love.

Now, here’s one of the most memorable bits from the show. I am warning you right now, this clip is NOT safe for work, family or any beast under 18. In fact, do yourself a favor and just don’t watch it. It’s just too romantic for words.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Sandy. You redefine the word love for me every day.

And thanks for that night, Sam. I know wherever you are, the joke was on you – just the way you intended it.

Here’s a short clip of a movie made entirely by chimpanzees. This bit of genius will be broadcast by the BBC as part of a natural history documentary. On the down side, the video is a little shaky. On a positive note, it’s better than anything I’ve seen by Oliver Stone.

Here’s some creative, technological goodness for you. Now help me get the tune out of my head!

This is a lot like a train wreck, only far more painful. Enjoy, then repent for even taking a single moment out of your precious life to watch this.

All conspiracy theories aside, this is just plain funny.

Before you visit the Web site promoted by the video, here’s a link to the Snopes entry, They’re both entertaining.

This is pretty funny… no, sad. Wait, it is pretty funny… Unless this is for real, then it’s just sad.

Thanks to David for this. Not much you can say about this other than… well, I guess there’s just not much to say.

On Jan 17, 2008 I cut the top of my thumb off with a knife I either sharpened too well or aimed too poorly. Either way, I thought the doc was kidding when he told me he was going to “super glue” it back on, but that he did. Since then, my thumb has never been the same.

This morning, I woke up and walked through my usual routine but something seemed different. I didn’t realize it at first, but after about an hour of reading through my blogs and news posts, it dawned on me I could feel my thumb again. Now this not not thumbthing to be taken lightly because my numb digit has gotten in the way of things more than a few times over the last year.

So, with thumb-pun intended i say, “Welcome back my thumb. Although you’ve been with me all along, you were lost, but now you are found.”

We’ve been lucky. While things are definitely slowing in the business world, we have remained quite busy. In fact, over the last few weeks, I’ve had an above average number of contracts to negotiate. Most of the companies we work with appreciate the effort and expense we put forth to create simple, plain-english contracts, with the best interest of both parties in mind.

There is always an exception or two. We will work those out in time, but I wonder what the real cost of legal-eze is to business and how it affects our productivity. Given my desk is covered in whereas and wherefores, I can’t help but wonder what would a favorite poem look like if we sent it through the legal department? With that question in mind, I give you this old favorite.

The Night Before Christmas (In legal-eze)

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g., stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime thereafter. The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as (“I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the party of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g., kerchief and cap.

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e., the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co- conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the
House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words to that effect.

- Author unknown